We interrupt regularly scheduled programming to bring you a special event…

Ladies and Gentlemen…

the Doors

episode i: it begins

I guess it was 6 or so weeks ago, my dad was over for dinner, and—like every other male family member with any professional or technical knowledge—advised me on what needed to be taken care of straight away.

Specifically, the doors.

As solid wood doors, they require some care. Given that 1) the previous tenants were renting from my darling wife, who 2) has little or no knowledge of the proper maintenance schedule for solid-wood doors, especially doors that 3) face the harshest possible sun that Texas has to offer, in that they face directly west, the doors had had little or no tending in their 3+ years guarding the entrance to the house, and had begun to decay a bit.

So after my Memorial Day Work Marathon, I had a couple of days off, and so I decided to tackle the project.

Instructions were simple: 1) apply stripper; 2) scrub off with one of those green plastic scrubber things; 3) clean with mineral spirits; 4) apply stain; 5) apply 2-3 coats of Spar Urethane.

I expected I could rock the project out in a day or two, three at the most, working only from around sunrise to noon or 1pm.

Oh how wrong I was.

Pictured below, days 1 and 2 (May 28th and 30th). Here’s how they went down:

One:

1. clean off stickers and brush any lose material off the doors
2. apply stripper
3. scrub with mineral spirits, to no effect*
4. read instructions on the stripper
5. suppress desire to curse, but only just
6. visit the home improvement center for plastic scraper and another can of stripper
7. return home, reapply stripper
8. scrape doors with plastic  scraper, to little effect
9. pack up for the night in disgust

Two:

1. reapply stripper
2. note that now the surface appears to be bubbling a bit
3. scrape doors with plastic scraper, to little effect
4. throw caution (and all online warnings) to the wind and forego the plastic scraper for one with a bit more bite
5. finally get somewhere
6. realize this is going to take a lot longer than I planned

Allahu Alaam (God knows, we don’t know, all knowledge comes from God alone, He is the All-Knowing, the All-Wise) and Inna Lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’un (to God we and all our affairs belong, and to God we shall return).

So that was the first two days.

Coming up: Day 3, in which doors meet their match, sorta.

*Mistake the first: don’t use synthetic mineral spirits with full flavor stripper or paint… it will only turn into a jelly-like substance that becomes very difficult to remove.

Continue reading “the doors”