365.293 just pretty, that’s all

It is really hard to use a reversed 50mm on 50mm worth of extensions as a walkaround lens when the wind is gusting.

I think I’ll try just the 50 tomorrow, sans extension tubes, and see if I can get the bee and bug shots I missed today.

And I’m finding that music helps me focus on shooting and walking, and gives me less opportunity to worry, as long as the beat is danceable and the lyrics are catchy. Today was the first 40 minutes-ish of Coldplay’s Mylo Xyloto. I make no apologies: I’m a big Brian Eno fan…

D7000. Vivitar 50mm f/1.8 (Cosina), reversed, and stacked on 50mm extension. ISO400, 1/2000th (AP mode), f/1.8, -1EV. Absolutely no post processing, beyond Aperture’s default RAW conversion.

365.292 Abstraktes Bild

This is the broken mirror featured in the 365 back on days 165-171 inclusive. I didn’t even know the theme for Macro Monday over on G+ was ‘Broken’ today… Cosmic, I suppose.

And speaking of cosmic, I think this looks like a panel from a graphic novel, maybe, or some science fiction manga maybe.

Other than that, there’s not much to say here, I guess. I wish I could’ve come up with a better title, but my nothing came to mind. If it looked a bit different, I might have called it Snikt!, but it doesn’t, so I didn’t.

D7000. Vivitar 50mm f/1.8 (Cosina), reversed and stacked on 100mm extension. ISO400, 1/400 (AP mode), f/1.8, -1EV. Less than a minute of processing in Aperture to bring out a bit more Pow than the usual RAW conversion provides.

365.291 Ohne Titel

Quick poll: How many colors do you see? (exclude white & black)

I’m thinking of submitting this rather lazy but pretty shot to +Peter From‘s Three Colors event over on the Google+, but I’m wonder if there are really more than three colors here.

Is a gradient from red to yellow two colors, three colors, or innumerable colors?

I don’t really know. Maybe you have an idea?

Oh! And I’m trying out a new (old) lens: Grandad’s Cosina-made Vivitar 50mm f/1.8. I’ve yet to put it to any serious tests, but I like some of the qualities it presents, though very many lenses render wholly out-of-focus pictures quite nicely.

D7000. Vivitar 50mm f/1.8 (Cosina-made, probably from 1975). ISO400, f/1.8, 1/400th (APmode), -1EV. About 3 minutes of slider play in Aperture to help bring out the n colors.

*365.290 panic at the Worldwide Photo Walk*

Before the walk even started, I could feel it coming. I resisted the urge to back out, though, and I did make it through the whole walk and the lunch after, and I don’t think I came off too strange to other participants.

What follows is a text I sent to a very old and dear friend, with whom I’ve had little contact in many years. Why I picked her to vent to, I have no idea. I think because she’s one of the only humans I trust completely. Thank you, Orange.

I’m in Downtown Dallas, taking part in a global photowalk. 1000s of people around the world are walking and shooting today.

The Fear got me early on, and I separated from the group I was with. I had to buy a pack of cigarettes. Actually, two packs of cigarettes (shitty ones at the 7-11 that I left on the counter in the fancy tobacconist around the corner).*

I can’t believe how afraid I am, how wholly inadequate I feel.

Deep breaths, James.

Nothing will hurt me, but everyone can plainly see how broken and suspect I am.

2 hours, plus lunch with the group to go. I don’t know how I’m going to make it, but I have to keep going. I purposefully wandered far from the car.

If that sounds a bit crazy to you, it does to me too. And I’ve been home for 4 hours, but have yet to relax. I’m not shaking and having trouble breathing any longer, but I can feel the tension.

Anyway, after I sent the text, I decided to try to capture the deep anxiety I felt. I don’t know if this picture really conveys it, but it’s close. All the background elements are clearly distracting from the subject, much like the fear distracted me from the purpose and goals of the walk. The variety of colors and shapes, and the swirling movement seem to me to depict the various contradictory fears and doubts that take over when I panic like this.

Does the picture work as I hoped? I’m not sure. It seems to me that it could be read as a pretty painting or something. Either way, I believe much of art to lie in the reception of the work, and less in the intent of the ‘artist,’ though I know some critics and historians would disagree vehemently, so please take it however you like.

I’m proud of myself for sticking with the walk, and for going through the whole thing. My hope is that I can keep pushing myself and find a way to get over this fear, but I think I’ll be taking smaller steps for awhile.

D7000. Nikkor 50mm f/1.8G. ISO100, 1/640th (ap mode), f/1.8, -1EV. About 5 minutes of processing in Aperture to really bring out the terror.

*I smoked two fancy cigarettes and left the pack with a homeless gentleman who asked if I had one to spare. One? I had 18 for him: I don’t smoke.

Scott Kelby’s Worldwide Photowalk, 2012 edition

Move along. There’s not much worth seeing here. I had a rather severe attack of social anxiety and totally lost the will to shoot. Most of the pixels were tortured within an inch of their 1’s and 0’s to get even this poor showing.

I guess there may be a bit of beauty here, and perhaps even a laugh awaits (apologies to +Michael Wayne Walker, the fearless leader of our walk), but I’m rather disappointed with my efforts today.

Misters +Scott Kelby, +Matt Kloskowski and +RC Concepcion  would castigate me for presenting such drivel, were it sent as a portfolio to The Grid for review, and RC has been very vocal about his objections to looking at people’s 365 projects and collections of photos of this type (bad schlock by rank amateurs—not his words:I’m paraphrasing), so it’s a good thing I’ve already prefaced this with a warning, and have little interest in passing on any of these to The Grid.

And, by the way, remind me that I owe RC a jumping jack photo…

365.289 a beginning

Sometimes, the only way to begin is to walk away.

I hoped to have a happier beginning beginning this week, but it didn’t begin, it ended, and it ended before it even properly began.

I’m not particularly bothered about this particular state of affairs: I was not long invested in the project, and I found I was still capable of something, even after 7 years of total, willful, and absolute neglect. But there it was, despite my every attempt to keep it locked away in its box, and I think I was actually better in some ways, if exactly the same slightly mildewed in others.

So here I am, one last look back, showing some regret or disappointment, perhaps, and some longing (I hope), before I begin again from the beginning.

D7000. Nikkor 50mm f/1.8G. ISO100, 1/160th, f/1.8. SB-700, with its diffusion panel in place, at 1/128th power, fired into a shoot-through at camera left and triggered via a pair of Cactus v5 triggers; car windshield reflector, handheld, lower camera right. About 4 minutes of processing, mostly to minimize my jowls and double chin as much as possible (I could’ve done more, but didn’t care to).

 

Note: over on G+, I’m involved with the Weekly Photography Challenge. This week’s theme is ‘beginnings,’ hence the title and story, all of which is true, but not entirely: I left a bunch out, obviously.