I’m having trouble focusing today, having trouble concentrating. It’s just 2 Ramadan, so that’s expected, and at the same time I’m having trouble focusing, I’m also feeling a sense of gentle tranquility, so it’s a wash, I guess.
So am I doing it right today?
Well, I had two pieces of some dense, seed-riddled toast–one one with a bit of butter, the other with a gang of peanut butter–some strawberries, a couple of dates, 2/3 cup of coffee, and 2 glasses of water before 4:38a today, and, as of 1:30p, haven’t eaten or drank, so that’s a win.
But that’s just the lowest level of fasting, and if I want to do it really right, I need to watch my tongue a bit better, have a bit more patience, show a bit more mercy.
It was really hard this morning: I couldn’t find the bread to toast for our breakfast, and just felt disoriented and scattered for the first several hours, and I allowed myself to get a bit hurried, a bit sharp and short with people, and may Allah forgive me.
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا كُتِبَ عَلَيْكُمُ الصِّيَامُ كَمَا كُتِبَ عَلَى الَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ
Oh you who believe! Decreed for you is fasting, as it was decreed for those who came before you, so that you may gain Taqwa
Taqwa: literally, protection, but one that comes from being conscious of God, fearing and loving God in appropriate proportion, having awe for the power and majesty of God and therefore striving to avoid His displeasure and earn His reward.
Alhamdulillah, I’m aware enough to recognize my failure, now to work on avoiding it in the future.
May Allah guide us to remember Him and give thanks to Him and worship Him in the best possible manner, in all aspects of our lives, Ameen.