365.234 calm, peaceful

I’ve spent the day going through all the stuff I pulled out of my closet to make way for the new carpet.

For the past three or four or five months, my todo list has contained a line that changed slightly from week to week (I rewrite the todo list every Saturday or Sunday evening in a little moleskine notebook), reading—with more or less profanity and specificity—”clean out closets,” so the burst pipe under the apartment, and the resultant emptying of closets was fortuitous, and I’ll be able to throw out, recycle, donate, give away, or put on ebay/craigslist, something close to 1/3rd of all the stuff, and everything else has a specific purpose or fills a specific short- or long-term need (some nostalgic items will be kept, to aid in memory of good times, bad times, and things I’ve learned but may have forgotten).

The new paint and carpet really changed my bedroom, and sorta looks like the bedroom of someone else, someone I once thought I might become, but the economy happened, and I happened, and I since abandoned that dream.

But suddenly I have that person’s bedroom… so I wonder if I can remake the rest of my apartment to match. And if I can do that, maybe I can remake myself to match the space in which I live, since it would be the space of the person I want(ed) to be, and not the space of the person I’ve since become?

Does this make sense? Is this possible?

I don’t know.

But if I can pull even part of it off, maybe I can come to feel something like this picture: calm, peaceful.

D7000. Nikon 75-150mm Zomb-E Series, extended by 100mm. ISO100, 1/3rd (APmode), f/3.5, -1EV. Minimal processing in Aperture.

365.233 from a dream

When I was younger, from the time I can remember, up through my mid 20s, I had a recurring dream every time started to get sick. The dream always preceded the illness by a day or two, so it was likely triggered by the immune system waking up. I was in my late teens before I suspected a correlation, in my early 20s before I became fully conscious of the dream/sickness relationship, and about 26 or 27 before the dream came to an obvious starting point.

It went like this: I would open my eyes and find myself laying on my side on a hilltop, or, more accurately, a high levee. I could see way out into the distance, and zoom in on various details, pick out individual shrubs far away. The effect was much like the tilt-shift miniaturizing effect.

As I lay on the levee, looking out over the landscape, it would become obvious that I was a massive thing, much larger than anything else around. 

I would lay there for awhile, examining various parts of the landscape—invariably small shrubs for some unknown reason—and then suddenly find myself in one of those shrubs, but it would be like a giant forest.

For the first 10 or 15 years of the dream, at this point, I would wake up, usually a bit frightened, and always covered in sweat. One night, I was in the dream and realized that I was in the recurring dream. I made a conscious decision to remain in the dream and see what was in the forest.

The forest was in spooky, contrasty, greyscale, with many dark tree shapes and lighter patches where the branches thinned slightly.

I was creeping along a path, and then off the path, around a large open circle that was bright white, and emitting a screeching sort of television static noise.

[Now that I say ‘television static’ that’s what the forest looked like in the dream, like it was made from analog television static.]

For 5 or more years, I woke up at this point. By now, I was over 20, and found it ridiculous that I was waking up frightened and in a cold sweat from something I knew to be the recurring dream, even as I was in it.

I crept closer to the clearing, trying to look past the bright light and the screeching noise to see what was happening. I expected to see some dark seance or strange religious practice going on.

And then, when I was maybe 26 or 27, I saw it.

A giant spider, all dripping fangs and million-eyed, completely filling the clearing, and towering over me, cowering from the light, which seemed to gather around and press in on it.

That was the last time I got really sick.

All my illnesses since then have been exceedingly minor, and short-lived, and I haven’t had the dream at all.

Anyway, this sorta looks like the landscape from the early part of the dream, when, lying on my side, I first opened my eyes and began to raise my head and look out over the valley below.

Sorta.

D7000. Nikkor 24mm f/2.8 AI, reversed. ISO100, 1/3rd (AP Mode), f/8, -1EV. Lit with a blue LED light bar thing, and the mini maglite to bring out the knife edge. Minor processing in Aperture, including a straightening and cropping.

365.232 in the zone

 

Given the afternoon I have ahead of me—ice cream and movie at work that will keep me 2+ hours late, traffic due to lateness, cleaning momma’s house, etc.—it seems unlikely that I’ll have the energy or will ttlo shoot later.

How fortuitous, then, that I decided to make this picture of myself earlier, fully capturing me ‘in the zone,’ except I was really shooting, and not really working…

iPhone 4, Hipstamatic. Wonder lens, W40 film.

365.231 magic carpet

Well, day one of moving back into my largely new apartment is complete, but I’m raring to start putting everything back together, and so I’m feeling rushed, and kinda wanted to just phone in the 365.

I took a couple of shots with the iPhone earlier that looked almost acceptable on the phone, but failed on the computer screen.

I took some quick snaps of the pile of junk in the living room, but who wants to look at that?

I took some pictures of the quilt I rehung over the window, but they were taken in haste, at too slow a shutter speed, so they failed, even at being abstractions.

So I sat down, looked around, and spied one of the bits of carpet that are always leftover after new installation, put it under a lamp, shined an led flashlight on it, and took a few shots, one of which was this one. Meh, but acceptable, given my haste.

(FYI: tomorrow will be worse: must stay late at work for an ice cream social/movie watching party… I really don’t want to, but I suppose it’s good to be social, and especially since I got a new boss today due to some reorganization: must make a good impression… And after work, I need to go by momma’s, wash sheets, clean the bathroom the cats lived in over the last week, and get everything spic and span for some houseguests that will be coming in on Friday. Busy day ahead tomorrow: yuck.)

D7000. Nikon 75-150mm f/3.5 Zomb-E Series. ISO800, 1/80th (apmode), f/8, -1EV. Rather heavy-handed processing in Aperture, and even a crop to vertical orientation…

365.230 ‘soft’ is not a great title…

I couldn’t really come up with anything better, but I’m sorta feeling rushed: lots of stuff to do over the next 2 after-works (plus what’s left of today’s), and if I can get it all done, I won’t have to take a half- or full day off work on Friday, and can keep my reputation for dependability intact.

Anyway.

I wanted to shoot some yarn while here at Momma’s, and I could probably do better, but 1) no tripod; 2) no flash or other manipulable lights; 3) see ‘feeling rushed’ above, so this will do.

I might try again tomorrow, but only if I make the time to pause and get the shot.

Interesting thing: when I feel rushed like this, it’s usually because I have way more than enough time, and I usually finish very early and end up wondering why I rushed around so much.

Oh well.

D7000. Nikon 75-150mm f/3.5 Zomb-E Series. ISO100, 1/6th (AP mode), f/5.6, -1EV. Very mild processing in Aperture: the light in Momma’s suburban, large-windowed house is much better than in my small, urban, ground-floor apartment…

365.229 what in tarnation

What in tarnation? I believe it’s the sugar caddy from a tea set of unknown age.

I know I usually leave you in suspense… Apologies.

I also know I usually write more, but I’m feeling a bit drained today, so…

D7000. Nikon 75-150mm f/3.5 Zomb-E Series. ISO100, 1/13th (APmode), f/3.5. Extremely mild processing in Aperture: the light was that good.

365.228 Ohne Titel

One good thing about suddenly finding yourself transplanted to someone else’s home for a few days: all sorts of new and different stuff to shoot with your macro rig!

Points to anyone who can name this utilitarian object. Hint: this is a major component, and is reproduced here at roughly 1:1.75.

So the apartment saga continues. It should begin to wrap up sometime this week, Tuesday or Wednesday, and I might be almost back to my normal life by the weekend: hopefully, I’ll definitely be back to my own life by the weekend, since I suddenly found out that neither I nor my cats will be able to stay much after Thursday. Hooray.

It will work out.

D7000. Nikon 75-150mm f/3.5 Zomb-E Series. ISO100, 1/2.5 (AP mode), f/3.5, -1EV. Mild-to-Medium processing in Aperture.