We’re more than halfway through Ramadan now… What have we done? How have we performed? Where have we fallen short? What can we do to improve in the next half?
Well, I’ve lost my temper, lost my nerve, lost my focus, and failed in innumerable ways. I’ve spent most of my non-working hours trying not to catch up on sleep, and the rest of the time split between eating/drinking, working on photography projects, taking care of chores, and generally not making worship a priority.
Could I have done better? Maybe, but I didn’t and I can’t go back now.
What can I do differently? Can I modify my activities to include more worship, while still taking care of my responsibilities and chipping away at projects? Can I further modify my sleep schedule (or modify my work schedule and consequently sit in traffic) to accommodate more tarrawih? Can I take the extra 10 minutes it will take to perform wudu and pray 2 rakat of qiyam when I wake up in the middle of the night? Can I turn off the radio and spend my commute time reciting Quran and making dhikr? Can I start repeating some dua and dhikr during work and rest time (“la ilaha il Allah,” for example, can be said without ever moving the lips and could theoretically be recited anytime I’m not talking, eating, or sleeping)?
And whatever I do, In sha’Allah , I need to focus on the quality of my worship, rather than just trying to cram in as much as possible.
May Allah guide me to be a better slave in the last half of Ramadan and in the coming years. May He accept my (and all of our) fasts. And may He grant me many more Ramadans to worship Him and many more opportunities to draw closer to him. Amin.
After Asr prayer tonight, sheiukh Yaser Birjas and Omar Suleiman gave a lecture at ICI… I stole the title of this post from their program. In sha’Allah they don’t mind too much.
Here’s a video of the talk, if you’re interested: MashaAllah there are some things worth hearing there.