If you’ve been following the liberal media [and by that, I mean, pretty much, Democracy Now, AlterNet, and similar Left, Progressive, whatever, but news organizations that focus on the plight of the working and unemployed populations, rather than advertisers and profit making/taking.]; if you’ve been paying attention to the union fights in Wisconsin and throughout the midwest; if you’ve paid any attention to the revolutions in Tunisia, Egypt, Lybia, and the rest; or even if you’ve merely noticed the gulf between the super-rich (and the leaders we elected that are always already wholly-owned subsidiaries, of the super-rich) and other 99% of the population, you might suspect that something is amiss in American and world/human society.Some might say that the split between the have-way-more-that-they-could-ever-want-or-needs and everyone else in the entire World is perfectly natural, that hard work should bring rewards, and that if you weren’t so fucking lazy and stupid, you too could have 6 mansions and 12 Maybachs and small fleet of yahts. This is the sort of things our elected leaders, the vast majority of the media—including advertisers, news analysts, script-writers, and their owners (strike) bosses—most Christian churches, business leaders, and the conservative-leaning (read: any person or institution who doesn’t particularly find even a tiny part of the status quo objectionable) parts of the population constantly drum into our brains, after all, and we all have a difficult time breaking free of deeply-engrained social and cultural mores and constantly-reinforced ideology.

Unfortunately, however, this is all a lie: hard work brings callouses and a sore back, and money and power flow to those places and persons who already have a great deal of capital. The people who spew this drivel are part—unwitting though they may be—of a propaganda machine put in place by Capital, and they, like most of us, have been purchased, co-opted, brainwashed by wealth, power, and other of Capital’s apendages.

In fact, there is a war going on between the slavish aggragators of capital, like a certain Mr. HedgeFund I mentioned in a previous post, and pretty much the rest of the worldwide population, even the planet itself and all living things whirling through space on it. The warring factions include humans, for sure, but also all of the stranger, legally-declared, but not actually living, non-human persons, those entities that the United States Supreme Court, using what I’m sure amounts to their best judgement and unbiased wisdom,[insert footnote] determined were humans: the Corporations, especially the massive, global entities created through the abolition of most of the antitrust and labor-rights laws (and Capital’s various slaves are working hard to abolish the last remaining labor and human rights laws worldwide: witness Wisconsin, Libya, Bahrain, Et.al) and endowed with a complete lack of moral or ethical restraint.

Why are these super rich, ultra-capitalists and their Corporate masters warring against everyone else? Are they really warring against everyone else?

To answer these questions, recall my earlier claims about capital and it’s desire for more masturbatory partners, and take a quick look at the news.

Yes, the 1 or 2% are at war against the rest of us, and it’s largely because their ideologies place Capital accumulation above all else.

The super-ultra-mega rich and their corporate masters are obsessed with serving the whims of capital, and are willing to do pretty much anything to accrue ever larger chunks of the global pie. And the best part? Insofar as capital longs to be accumulated, and to a degree that almost requires no human interference, and given that international society revolves around capital, the 1%ers and their slaves (and those others who see nothing wrong with slave labor, environmental degradation and the rest of the baser parts of the current status quo) will succeed.

After all, what Capital wants, if Capital can be said to want anything, is ever more wanking and diddling of itself, by itself: the more concentrated capital gets, the more pleasure it derives from its masturbatory orgies. If it could accomplish it’s yearnings on it’s own, it would (and it does, to a limited extent, in some of the more convoluted financial shenanigans perpetrated by the billionaire slaves to Capital), but, insofar as Capital is an inanimate object, it needs help from humans.

Conveniently, humans, the creators of capital, are in many cases more than happy to oblige, insofar as there are some of us who always and only want more more more and who are more than willing to do whatever it takes to help capital accumulate, and inasmuch as the rest of us are happily occupied with iPhones, television, and chasing the 12 Maybachs and a half-dozen mansions (or even that new washing machine to replace the one that spun itself to death in 2008). After all, we humans derive some minor benefits from capital in and of itself, and we gain huge perceived benefits from massive capital accumulation: fleets of Italian sports cars and the plasticine blondes to wiggle out of them in front of the exclusive (if somewhat tasteless) restaurant or red carpet event, not to mention the iPhones and other shiny pretties that so captivate our attention.

It might seem contrary to claim that fleets of cars and plastic bimbos (which both require a huge outlay of capital to acquire (or rent)) help capital to acrete. But remember that capital has multiple forms, and all of these forms are largely interchangeable. The Italian sports cars place the driver in a certain cultural and socioeconomic class and allow a point of entry into a certain level of social status, while also symbolizing the driver’s prowess, masculinity, youth, verve, etc. And the plastic wiggle box provides similar (symbolic and masturbatory) benefits.

In the case of the executive who spends Economic Capital on the fleet of sports cars, for example, he has traded a greater or lesser percentage of his money for somewhat larger amount of other sorts of Capital, resulting in a net gain in new wanking partners for the blob of Capital that operates as both object (in that the executive can spend the capital on whatever he wants) and subject (insofar as it commands the executive to serve as its lackey, repeatedly and continuously striving for more and more and more Capital).

As mentioned earlier, I hesitate to blame the executive for this. In truth, given different circumstances, I could be that executive and the executive could be a failed art historian who traded beauty for the ugliest sides of human activity. There but for fortune, indeed, and in both cases. I am fortunate to be a comfortable failure: as far as being a mogul with thousands of dollars worth of plastic on his arm goes, better him than me. And I expect the executive feels the same way about me, most of the time anyway.